Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Wasting Time

     Sooner or later I will do a re-cap of everything so far, starting where I left off a couple of posts ago. But, I am not ready for it yet. I am not really sure why. I suppose because the time I was at the KCC was so difficult and so painful. And the same is true for the day Buzzy was diagnosed. So, that particular entry will have to wait another day, when I am stronger and less frazzled. 

     We have had a productive few weeks around here. One thing I hate more than anything else is feeling like I am doing nothing to help Buzzy along. So, that's why I make so many phone calls and am trying to keep a number of irons in the fire, so to speak.

     One of the things I was told by Nancy (from KCC) was that I needed to get Buzzy more therapy.  My MIL later insisted to me that *I* was Buzzy's best therapist, and I needed to be the one to work with him. (My favorite: "A parent is their child's first and best teacher!") And that made me feel awful. I already feel like I am not doing enough with him at home (more on that later). I don't need to hear it from anyone else. 

     I will be the first to say I am depressed. I am not a great SAHM. Some days my energy level is so low it feels like a chore to get up and go to the bathroom. I change the babies, keep them fed, and keep them clean, and play with them throughout the day, and that's it. I don't cook dinner. I don't shower (until my husband gets home from work). I don't clean. The few times I've had enough energy to do those things, Buzzy starts getting into stuff - climbing cabinets, breaking into latches, spreading mess into every corner. When it was warmer, I took the babies for walks. I do manage to start and sort about 10 loads of laundry (including diapers) a week. But, they never get put away. So, I spend most of my time sitting in the living room, waiting for various therapists to show up. I consider a day a success if I don't look at my watch too much. 

     This week (after almost two months of working on it) Buzzy had his "intake" to get ABA therapy started. Last week, right before we left for my in-laws for Thanksgiving we had an hour long phone interview for ABA. They asked about family history, pregnancy history, the birth, etc. Then I was asked about what therapies he currently was getting, how old he was when he met certain milestones, and what goals we had for therapy. 

     I was thrilled to get a call on the following Monday about setting up the intake. The intake was pretty intense. It was two and half hours long. They basically went over all of the stuff I had talked about during the phone call and they also spent a lot of time observing Buzzy. He performed admirably for them: plugging various cords into electrical sockets, running around like a crazy man, and attempting (my personal favorite) to stick a drawstring from a hoodie into the outlets. (We used to have outlet covers, but Buzzy pulls them out more quickly than I can.) Wouldn't you know, I *can* move pretty quickly when I want to!

     The big thing for him, though, is that he attempted to say everything they threw at him. He wasn't very successful at some of the things, but he was at least making an attempt at making the sounds. I have to remember that over the summer he wasn't doing that at all. He was signing, but nothing much verbal. I guess I am expecting a lot or too much, and I need to keep in mind how far he has come, even within the last week. 

     They think they will be able to have someone come to the home to start services over Christmas break. They are wanting to try 20 hours a week. I am looking forward to getting started with that. I really feel he will make great progress. They also offer (on-site, not at home) speech therapy. My plan is to add speech therapy (for a total of 3 days a week) once the dust settles and we are in some sort of routine with ABA. The other great thing about all of this is when Buzzy turns 3, he won't lose all of his services. He will only lose the one hour (3 times a week) of ST, DV, and OT. And then, he will start Early Childhood Special Education with the school district in August. 

     I also (after some agonizing) decided to pursue getting him an Autism Assistance dog. Buzzy really is a wanderer and I really think having a dog will help me keep an eye on him. There isn't much to say about that, other than that it's crazy expensive, I turned in the application, a friend turned in her recommendation, I waiting on another recommendation, and waiting on his doctor's prescription. Whew. And, even after all that, they may turn us down. I really hope not. After watching Buzzy interact with my in-law's dog, that sealed it for me. 

     That is where everything stands now. There are ancillary things: like all the time I spend scrutinizing Buzzy and trying to see if the new thing he is doing means his autism is getting worse, or if I just need to have a drink (or 3). Like how baby isn't letting us sleep well at night (hello, teething!). Or how I spend more time correcting my older girls' behavior than I do managing Buzzy and the baby. (What has gotten into them lately?!!) But, just the fact that I am seeing some progress in getting Buzzy the therapy he needs does a lot for me.

     I may not need to be locked up just yet.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, I really hope you get the dog! There's nothing like a kid and their dog. And I bet it would really provide a little peace of mind for you to know that Buzzy has a watchful eye on him.

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  2. HM, thanks! I know what you mean about "a kid and their dog". I just keep picturing the two together and I really want this to happen for him. I know he would benefit from it so much!

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